Think Like a (Blonde) Lawyer ...

I'm Not Unemployed ... I'm a Writer!

 

To blog, or not to blog ... one of so many questions I've been struggling with lately.  If the whole point of this blog is to have more fun, shouldn't I be out doing that rather than sitting at home writing about it?  And if the purpose of this blog is to dwell upon my layoff and heroic transition to the next stage of my professional life, aren't we all just a little sick and tired of that story?  I mean come on, I haven't worked at a law firm for over a year now.  Isn't it time to just get over myself and move on already?

 

I'm not the only one who is weary of talking about the poor state of the economy.

 

In fact, I hear the recession is officially over now.  Actually, they say it ended 15 months ago, in June of 2009.  (Funny that I was laid off in August of 2009 "due to the recession" ...)  Yet unemployment in California still hovers over 12%, with no sign of improving in the near future. (Unless we suspend our greenhouse gas emission laws?  Huh??  Only in California would out-of-state oil companies be allowed to sponsor a proposition arguing that dirtier air will somehow improve our lives.  See Proposition No. 23 if you care to examine the full silliness of it all...)

 

But I digress.  I've decided to do my part ... as of today, I am no longer unemployed.

 

I am a writer.

 

It's kind of like being a consultant or a life coach; no one can prove that I'm not.

 

But sadly, no one is paying me to make this proclamation. In fact, I'm actually doing my part to support the economy by forking over rather high tuition for a screenwriting class.  Of course as a former attorney, I'm actually arrogant enough to believe I can write a movie.  From what I've learned thus far, creating a screenplay is pretty much like drafting a legal brief.  Once you learn the basic formula (e.g., "IRAC" for legal writing), writing the rest should be a breeze.

 

Here is my first movie's storyboard:

 
 

Isn't it beautiful?  I just love its symmetry and color scheme.  These are my scene cards, with the various colors depicting the acts.  Yellow cards remind me to insert important plot points such as Inciting Incident, No Going Back, and All is Lost.

 

The only problem thus far? 

 

All the cards are blank.

 

And I guess this is the basic challenge of being a writer; I need to actually sit down and write.

 

With no supervisor, no deadlines, and no billable hours. 

 

So will I continue blogging?  I'm not sure, but my hope is that perhaps by writing about the creative process now and then, I might just gain some empathy and encouragement.  I would love to connect here with some "real" writers  -- i.e., people who spend a significant amount of time writing each day -- whether paid to do so or not. 

 

I've heard that we do not choose to become writers; writing chooses us.  Right now, staring at my blank storyboard, I kind of wish it would choose someone else ...

* * * * *

Are you a writer?  What has your experience been?  How did you gain the courage to first start calling yourself a writer?  And how do you stay motivated to write each day?

Il Dolce Far Niente (or, the Joy of Sitting Around Eating Bon Bons?)

So I hate to admit this, but one of the reasons I haven't blogged lately is that I have been spending a significant amount of time in the past few weeks sitting around in my backyard lounge chair eating bon bons (more often than not, with a glass of vino).

I actually don't really care for chocolate that much.  Nor am I in the habit of sitting around doing nothing. But I really am trying to relax more than I ever used to, and certainly more than my natural proclivities feel comfortable with.

The good news is that I no longer beat myself up over eating a couple pieces of chocolate (who was that bulimic 19-year old??); it's so much harder to get rid of my all-American-angst over the feeling that I'm wasting a lot of time.  (Especially since I've been occupationally programmed to account for my time in 6-minute increments.)

But is "down time" really wasted time?  I've been thinking about this a lot lately, so the scene in Eat, Pray, Love where the Italians lament to Julia Roberts that Americans have completely lost touch with the "joy of doing nothing" (il dolce far niente) really struck home. 

  
 

Much of the world simply does not understand Americans' obsessive drive to constantly be doing something productive.  I recently wrote an email to an executive level Australian acquaintance and received an auto-responder unapologetically explaining that she will be out of the office on vacation for the next month -- period.  How different this is from the typical American message providing cell numbers, alternate contacts, and endless promises to periodically check email regardless of where the person is or what they are doing with their miserly few days off. 

Americans average less than 12 days of vacation time each year compared with the 4 to 6 weeks of mandated vacation in most other Western nations.  Australians actually require that employees be paid a 20% bonus during their weeks off so they can afford to travel.   (Which makes one wonder why Australians are so notorious for being cheap house guests who never go away ...)

 

Here in the land where the pursuit of happiness is constitutionally protected, however, there is no right to time off.  In fact, one law firm I once worked for actually did away with vacation days altogether and replaced these with a personal rejuvenation policy wherein at least in theory, an attorney could take off as much time as she wanted -- provided that she still met her billable hours expectations and didn't miss any important court dates.  Any guesses how many days of "rejuvenation" the average associate was actually be allowed to have?  (Hint: it worked out to even less than the average American receives.  And oh yeah, if the associate ever left the firm, no vacation time was owed.)

But I am getting off topic.  If we Americans really feel so cheated by the stinginess of our employers' policies, why don't we rebel?  I'm guessing here, but I think it has something to do with our good old Puritan work ethic: as a nation, we tend to believe hard work somehow proves our virtue.  At least that's what my guilt monster whispers in my ear on those days when I'm indulging in yet another afternoon of far niente ...

 

But what if down time and true relaxation actually improve our productivity?  Certainly in legal circles you cannot bill clients for those three hours spent lounging on the beach, but what if during those hours you actually experience that creative spark of inspiration that leads to your winning strategy at trial?  What if relaxation is, in fact, the only way to access our much more creative, subconscious minds?  (And I haven't even mentioned the nifty side effects of indulging in playtime such as improved health and relationships.)

I'm certainly not the first person to feel this way.  Timothy Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweekwas a #1 New York Times bestseller, and Chris Guillebeau's blog, The Art of Non-conformity is equally popular.  Both authors specialize in instructing readers how to escape 9-to-5 and create prosperous, passionate livelihoods -- anywhere in the world, with no boss, and in a lot less time.

I'm still trying to figure out how to achieve this; in the meantime, can someone please pass the bon bons?

Sex in the City 2, camel riding fashion, & why every woman needs a gay friend

Earlier this week I went to opening night of Sex in the City 2 with several girlfriends; we hadn't seen each other as a group since the first SITC.  I'm seeing it again later this week with my female neighbors.  Not because the movie is that great (well, the fashion is!) but because it celebrates an aspect life that so many of us neglect when life gets busy -- our friends.

 

Actually, I've been known to neglect my friends even when life is NOT busy. 

 

OK, I basically pretty much ignore my friends all the time, until the guilt monster starts clawing at my back and forces me to start returning calls/emails. 

 

I used to blame this on being a lawyer.

 

Now I must admit it's just due to laziness, or sometimes just preferring the comfort of my own cave over venturing out to join the clan.  Or perhaps I'm living too much in the virtual world?  I do love connecting with my Facebook friends, but let's face it, I've never even met many of you and others are from such distant times and/or places in my life that we might as well be living on different planets for all we know about each others' lives.

 

But then again, I've been absolutely floored by some of the virtual connections I've made  -- especially the one I married.  Sometimes people just click online (no pun intended), and sometimes we get to reconnect with people from our distant pasts.  For example, I recently reconnected with a childhood friend who was the first to support me in fifth grade by joining my 3-member Laura Hating Club (which was rather pathetically formed in response to the hugely popular Katie Hating Club; they must have known I was destined to become a lawyer even then).  My online network includes high school friends I wouldn't have recognized on the street but suddenly now chat with frequently, college roommates living all over the world, prior work friends, acquaintances from the dog park, distant cousins, neighbors, and many friends of friends of friends and others I have not met at all but would like to.

 

I guess that's the beauty of social media and blogging: we just put ourselves and our stuff out there, and people who are attracted to what we have to say become our friends. 

 

Or not. 

 

My husband often teases me that I now have more virtual friends than real ones.   Yet I am nowhere even close to the 5,000 FB friend limit; how is it that so many people so quickly max out on "friends" in the virtual world?  Are all of these media socialites just exceptional marketers?  Or could it be because in many cases online conversations are simply more intimate than in real life?  I know that before the internet I could count on one hand the number of people who even knew about my MS; now it's in the public domain for anyone who cares to know.  And I'm still not sure how to reconcile all this internet exhibitionism with the very private person who once threw her diary away just because her then husband had read a few pages.

 

But back to the movie: in SITC 2, the girls visit Abu Dhabi at the invitation of a sheik.  Needless to say, the glamour is over the top fabulous and a very far cry from my own desert experience many years ago of being stranded in the Western Sahara for six weeks hallucinating about showers and clean sheets.  And even though I've ridden camels in Egypt and Australia, I've never done so in quite the style of the SITC girls: 

 

 

Which brings me to another point: not only do I need to nurture my girlfriend relationships, but I really, really, really need a BGF (best gay friend).  Just look at Miranda's sexy transformation when she attended the gay wedding of Carrie's BGF to Charlotte's BGF:

 

 

You can't see it too well in this shot, but Miranda's dress is open down to her navel.  She's the conservative lawyer in the SITC series, remember?  I just love how she has been transformed into a vixen for this movie and how she is finally able to stand up the abusive male partners in her firm.  (Of course we all know such characters are purely fictional, right?)

 

In any event, go see this movie with your best girlfriends.  Or with women you hardly know but want to become friends with.  Or if you are male, go see it alone and see how quickly you will make friends with the 100:1 ratio of women to men at the show. 

 

And if you have no interest in seeing this movie, that's okay too.  But this Memorial Day weekend,  let's all spend a little less time on Facebook, and give our real friends a little more Facetime.

 

We're off to a BBQ now in real time with some real life friends ...

* * * * *

What are your thoughts about social media networking?  Have you been able to use FB to stay connected with your real friends, or it a distraction that takes away from your real life relationships?  How do you feel about sharing details of your life online when there's a very good chance complete strangers will be reading these?  Have you made fantastic friendships online you would have never otherwise had the chance to make?

My First Big Movie Deal ...

Like everyone else in SoCal, I have several screenplays in development that I'm ready to pitch at any given moment to anyone who will listen.

Well, not really.  But I really did come up with a fantastic movie idea the other day that is simply so brilliant I'm afraid to breathe a word of it to anyone before I have the copyright registered.

This is not the first time I've been excited by a writing project.

Back when I was 25 (not that long ago), I decided to write my first novel in 90 days and actually completed that goal.  (Well, I completed what should have been the discarded first draft of my novel.)  I then sent the unsolicited manuscript with a novel synopsis to two or three dozen publishers (this was pre-internet, so was all done by snail mail.)

I cannot imagine why no one rushed to publish it.  Here's an excerpt from the synopsis:

------------------

Bending Spoons is a story about a goddess and a dead fish.  It is a "Generation X" love story involving giant cockroaches, a magic ring, sick elephants, Egyptian deities, a smart blonde, and a smart-ass producer with a ponytail who steals cats.  The story poses three questions:

• Do soul mates always meet?
• Can a feminist goddess live without love?
• What is the antidote to boredom?

-------------------

Makes you want to read more, right?  Well, OK, if you must.  Here are the opening lines of Chapter One:

Izzy Tifereth could bend spoons.  This did little to improve her relations at home.  Catherine, her mother, suffered from a little known but expensive affliction called Geschirrliebe -- She was addicted to dishes.    ...

Why am I making you read this?

To remind myself that this time (yes, I really am writing a screenplay), I am NOT going to rush through the creative process simply to finish the project by a particular deadline.  I am also not going to market the final product blindly (unless you include blogging?) to people who have no interest in producing it.  This time, I am going to take the time to complete much needed re-writes and make the necessary industry connections prior to attempting any marketing.

And I guess this has been one of the few benefits of my layoff -- the luxury of time.   It is not a small extravagance.  When I was practicing law, I was simply too burned out to even think about creative projects after the long days of billable hours. 

Of course there is a price too ... no one is paying me for all of these unbillable hours of creative effort.

Anyone want to donate a buck or two to a spoon bending blonde Goddess? 

(Just kidding.)

Which begs the question: what are you willing to spend your time on, even if no one ever pays you for it?

Anyone who ever built an empire or changed the world ...

I watched the Oscar's last night, and can't help but comment about one of the nominees that didn't win any awards -- Up in the Air, with George Clooney and Anna Kendrick. 

The movie is all about employment law.  Basically, Clooney's character makes a very good living by flying all over the county telling people they are being laid off when their own bosses are afraid to do so.  In almost every case, regardless of the reason for the layoff, Clooney gives the same cheesy pep talk to the firee:

"Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now [across the desk, being callously fired].  And it's because they sat there that they were able to do it."

After you hear him give the same canned speech to several people, it's clear that sincerity is not Clooney's greatest strength.  The line becomes even more disingenuous when his sidekick, Kendrick, starts using it too in order to at least appear somewhat interested in what the newly unemployed workers will face.

And yet ...

I so want this to be true.  Do I plan on building an empire or changing the world?  It's pretty unlikely.  But still, wouldn't it  be wonderful to truly believe in the tired cliche that "everything happens for a reason"?

I'm not sure I can.  But I do believe that life circumstances often force us to change direction, be flexible and resilient, and learn new ways of being in the world.  It's been seven months since my layoff, and I'm still Up in the Air trying to figure out where to go from here. 

I would love to hear your thoughts about forced transitions in your own life.  Do you think these events "happened for a reason"?  Do you feel you have grown from the experience?  Or are you still too close to the situation to believe this is the first step in building your empire?