Think Like a (Blonde) Lawyer ...

What is it about Water?

Of course we're all very relieved today to hear that 16-year old Californian solo sailor Abby Sutherland was found safe somewhere in the Indian Ocean.  Although I personally cannot fathom having the courage to attempt such a journey myself, I can definitely understand the attraction of spending a very long time on the water.

 

Like the Earth itself, our bodies are 75% water, and much has been written about the amazing healing powers of water.  (I recommend the work of Dr. Masura Emoto if you are interested in learning how water -- including that in our bodies -- is affected by our thoughts and emotions.)

 

My husband frequently teases me about my obsession to one day have an ocean view from our home.  (We are just two miles away now.)  He just cannot justify spending what a SoCal water view costs rather than get a bigger or better house.  But being near water just feels so great; I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.  (Someone is paying for all these great views ...)

 

But because it's Friday and I don't feel like endlessly debating the merits of water views (and because we're off this weekend to the world's largest dog beach in Carmel!), I've decided to blog with minimal words today.  Instead, I would like to leave you with just a few pictures from our past travels to show you the beauty of water much more clearly than I could ever write:

 

Capri, Italy:

 

 

Mendoza, Argentina:

Amazon River, Brazil:

Devil's Island, French Guyana:

 

Strait of Hormuz, Oman:

 

 

Dubai, UAE:

 

Maui:

 
 

 
  Bora Bora, French Polynesia:

 

 

Lake Tahoe, California:




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What is your favorite landscape?  Mountains, forests, lakes, oceans?  How does being in a beautiful environment affect your energy and mood?  Whether on vacation or at home, are you willing to pay extra for a great view?

Sex in the City 2, camel riding fashion, & why every woman needs a gay friend

Earlier this week I went to opening night of Sex in the City 2 with several girlfriends; we hadn't seen each other as a group since the first SITC.  I'm seeing it again later this week with my female neighbors.  Not because the movie is that great (well, the fashion is!) but because it celebrates an aspect life that so many of us neglect when life gets busy -- our friends.

 

Actually, I've been known to neglect my friends even when life is NOT busy. 

 

OK, I basically pretty much ignore my friends all the time, until the guilt monster starts clawing at my back and forces me to start returning calls/emails. 

 

I used to blame this on being a lawyer.

 

Now I must admit it's just due to laziness, or sometimes just preferring the comfort of my own cave over venturing out to join the clan.  Or perhaps I'm living too much in the virtual world?  I do love connecting with my Facebook friends, but let's face it, I've never even met many of you and others are from such distant times and/or places in my life that we might as well be living on different planets for all we know about each others' lives.

 

But then again, I've been absolutely floored by some of the virtual connections I've made  -- especially the one I married.  Sometimes people just click online (no pun intended), and sometimes we get to reconnect with people from our distant pasts.  For example, I recently reconnected with a childhood friend who was the first to support me in fifth grade by joining my 3-member Laura Hating Club (which was rather pathetically formed in response to the hugely popular Katie Hating Club; they must have known I was destined to become a lawyer even then).  My online network includes high school friends I wouldn't have recognized on the street but suddenly now chat with frequently, college roommates living all over the world, prior work friends, acquaintances from the dog park, distant cousins, neighbors, and many friends of friends of friends and others I have not met at all but would like to.

 

I guess that's the beauty of social media and blogging: we just put ourselves and our stuff out there, and people who are attracted to what we have to say become our friends. 

 

Or not. 

 

My husband often teases me that I now have more virtual friends than real ones.   Yet I am nowhere even close to the 5,000 FB friend limit; how is it that so many people so quickly max out on "friends" in the virtual world?  Are all of these media socialites just exceptional marketers?  Or could it be because in many cases online conversations are simply more intimate than in real life?  I know that before the internet I could count on one hand the number of people who even knew about my MS; now it's in the public domain for anyone who cares to know.  And I'm still not sure how to reconcile all this internet exhibitionism with the very private person who once threw her diary away just because her then husband had read a few pages.

 

But back to the movie: in SITC 2, the girls visit Abu Dhabi at the invitation of a sheik.  Needless to say, the glamour is over the top fabulous and a very far cry from my own desert experience many years ago of being stranded in the Western Sahara for six weeks hallucinating about showers and clean sheets.  And even though I've ridden camels in Egypt and Australia, I've never done so in quite the style of the SITC girls: 

 

 

Which brings me to another point: not only do I need to nurture my girlfriend relationships, but I really, really, really need a BGF (best gay friend).  Just look at Miranda's sexy transformation when she attended the gay wedding of Carrie's BGF to Charlotte's BGF:

 

 

You can't see it too well in this shot, but Miranda's dress is open down to her navel.  She's the conservative lawyer in the SITC series, remember?  I just love how she has been transformed into a vixen for this movie and how she is finally able to stand up the abusive male partners in her firm.  (Of course we all know such characters are purely fictional, right?)

 

In any event, go see this movie with your best girlfriends.  Or with women you hardly know but want to become friends with.  Or if you are male, go see it alone and see how quickly you will make friends with the 100:1 ratio of women to men at the show. 

 

And if you have no interest in seeing this movie, that's okay too.  But this Memorial Day weekend,  let's all spend a little less time on Facebook, and give our real friends a little more Facetime.

 

We're off to a BBQ now in real time with some real life friends ...

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What are your thoughts about social media networking?  Have you been able to use FB to stay connected with your real friends, or it a distraction that takes away from your real life relationships?  How do you feel about sharing details of your life online when there's a very good chance complete strangers will be reading these?  Have you made fantastic friendships online you would have never otherwise had the chance to make?

Captain Sunshine, Make Me Drink Wine, Make Me Feel Fine ...

 

Unless you're a big Neil Diamond fan, you probably do not recognize the lyrics in today's blog post title.  I actually ran across them by accident today when searching for a picture that would adequately illustrate my profound love of sunshine and wine.

 

It turns out I didn't need to find a picture, though, as my baby sister has already taken care of this by transforming me into a cartoon caricature. 

 

Not that I mind. 

 

My sister is an actual artist (i.e., one who gets paid to create stuff) and a far more experienced blogger than I.  But now that she's gaining recognition as a cartoonist, I'm starting to fear I'm in danger of becoming a parody of myself.

 

I have to admit my sister's drawing is a pretty accurate depiction; I do tend to sit in the sunshine drinking wine when offering unsolicited tidbits of wisdom on the phone to my loved ones.  And if you read my sister's latest comic, one interpretation for this behavior might be that people drink because they are repressing their creativity.

 

But another might simply be because sitting in the sun eating good food and drinking good wine brings a great deal of joy.

 

At least, for me.

 

And in my experience, anything that creates joy (provided it doesn't harm anyone) also creates health. 

 

The research supports me on this.

 

If you've been reading this blog for any period of time, you know by now that I've been living with multiple sclerosis for more than 20 years.  You also know that before I became an attorney, I practiced as a naturopathic doctor and medical herbalist for several years in Australia.  If there is an herb or supplement that has been found helpful in treating MS, believe me, I know about it.

 

The funny thing now is that the distinction between alternative and traditional medicine has become increasingly blurred; mainstream neurologists and medical researchers now agree that Vitamin D levels are extremely important in managing not only MS symptoms, but in preventing a host other diseases including depression, heart disease, diabetes, and a variety of other autoimmune disorders.   Although it is undisputed that many diseases are either caused by or result in vitamin D deficiency, much debate still surrounds supplementation recommendations. 

 

We have been taught to stay out of the sun, always wear sunscreen, and our natural tendency is to just pop another pill or three to address any vitamin deficiencies.  Yet at least according to one researcher, ingested vitamin D can actually block the body's ability to manufacture the hormone, the opposite effect to that of sunshine.

 

"Sunlight is more powerful than any drug; it is safe, effective, and available free of charge. If it could be patented, it would be hyped as the greatest medical breakthrough in history. It's that good."

    ~ Mike Adams, natural health researcher and author.

 

Sounds reasonable to me.  But what about the wine, you ask?  Well first of all, if you are the least bit inclined to believe in energy medicine, you must realize that grapes used in high quality wines are simply highly efficient storage devices for condensed solar energy; I view drinking wine as the perfect complement to sitting in the sun -- a Vitamin D booster, if you will. 

 

No, there is no actual Vitamin D in wine itself, but people who drink good wine also generally tend to eat better diets.  Fish and spinach (both good Vitamin D sources) are two of my favorite and frequent choices to have with chardonnay.

 

You've likely heard of the French paradox and cardioprotective effects of regular red wine consumption, but did you know the antioxidant (anti-ageing properties, Ladies!) of white wine may be superior to those of red? 

 

Moreover, according to a new study recently released by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, moderate wine drinkers are actually, on average, much healthier and happier than both heavy drinkers and surprisingly, non-drinkers, as well.

 

Well, that's my excuse anyway.   All I know is that some of our very best vacations have been to wine country, like in these pictures from Mendoza, Argentina in 2006:

 

 

I'd love to write more, but I need to go walk the dog and get a little sunshine before happy hour ...

 

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Do you have any habits or indulgences in your own life that you believe contribute to your own health and happiness, regardless of what the "experts" may tell you?  Do you search out reinforcing research such as "coffee prevents dementia" or "chocolate boosts endorphins" to support your habits?  What about Vitamin D?  Are you a religious sunscreen user, or do you believe moderate sun exposure has some health benefits?

The Body Knows ...

  

When I first moved to Orange County in 2001 I did a lot of internet dating.  After all, I had spent the last eight years in Australia and this really seemed like the easiest way to meet people.

  

  

 For the most part, it worked out fine.  My profile was listed on a site called kiss.com (the link is to a very different service now).  It’s true there were plenty of men on the site I had no interest in kissing, but I had no nightmare experiences – the men I met in person were pretty much who they said they were online.  Even though I was awfully selective about choosing the few I would actually meet in person from the pool of hundreds of options online, I had no shortage of dates – usually several dinner or coffee dates each week.  In short, it was a great way to become comfortable meeting men again after having been married for so long.

  

  

 So it was no big deal when I agreed to meet a man from kiss.com for drinks at the Vertical Wine Bar (also no longer there) in Laguna Beach.  The man and I had already spoken on the phone a fair amount, and his online profile and picture looked decent enough to make the date list.

 

  

The morning of our planned meeting I woke up with an annoying little cough.  It wasn’t like a cold or infection, and I’ve never been a smoker so have never really been a person who coughs.  This cough was unlike any I have ever experienced – throughout the day, every time I would open my mouth to speak all that came out was this dry, tickling cough.  It wasn’t loud, mind you, but it was completely unstoppable.  But since I’d never had a cough like this in the past and didn’t feel sick, I decided to ignore it and go on my date anyway.

 

  

As usual, I hadn’t decided what to wear on the date until the very last minute.   (The only part of my outfit I did not debate was that I would wear my highest of high heels to see whether this guy would be tall enough for me.)  By the time I did my hair, drove to the place, and found a parking spot I was at least 15 minutes late.  (I later learned my date had been there 20 minutes early.)  When I finally arrived, I looked around and didn’t recognize anyone in the restaurant who looked even remotely like my date’s internet photo. 

 

  

But then I saw this very tall guy standing at the bar looking at me with a big grin on his face --

 

  

I don’t remember too many details about the rest of our date, but I do know that drinks turned into a long dinner.  That in itself would not be all that unusual, but it was quite remarkable under the circumstances – you see, my cough had not gone away. 

 

  

I could not talk. 

 

  

At all. 

 

  

All night, every time I opened my mouth to speak, all that came out was that dry tickly little cough.

 

  

So I laughed to cover it up. 

  

  

My date acted like he never noticed.  I was amazed that any man could carry on an entire conversation for four hours or so, when the only thing I contributed was a lot of laughter to mask my coughing, and a choked out sentence here and there. 

 

 

He must have felt like the funniest man on the planet.

 

I declined a second date.

 

But accepted a third. 

 

Two and a half years later, we were married.  That was five years ago, and I have not coughed since. 

 

Has your body ever let you know through physical symptoms or cues that something important was happening or about to happen in your life?  Have you ever felt nervous for no good reason when meeting a stranger who then became very important in your life? Why do you think our bodies often sense things our minds are oblivious of?  Are you good at listening to your body’s wisdom?

What's this Blog About, Anyway?

 
 
"Think Like a (Blonde) Lawyer" (www.blondejd.com) has existed for just one week, and thus far I've been treating it more like a personal diary than an online forum. 

So what the heck is this blog about, anyway?

I suppose the name is easiest to explain:  Like Reese Witherspoon in the Legally Blonde movies, I am a "blonde" who was admitted to Harvard Law School after applying on a whim.  (I ended up going to Berkeley though, which is a story for another day.)

Until recently, I worked as an employment attorney in Orange County, California.  Prior to that, I was a naturopathic doctor in Australia, a path I undertook mainly for personal health reasons as I have had multiple sclerosis (MS) for more than 20 years.  After I was unexpectedly laid off in August of 2009, I started joking that I am now a real OC housewife because I live in Newport Beach and am letting my husband pay the bills.

This is not a legal blog (blawg) or an MS blog, though I will be writing on both topics frequently.  Because of my professional background, I am interested in exploring the intersection of natural/spiritual law and natural/holistic medicine.  Forgiveness and its relationship to healing will be a frequent topic.

I also want to talk about how law students and young attorneys are trained to "think like lawyers" and how they can learn to think like human beings again.  Believe it or not, the legal profession is undergoing profound transformation and there is hope for attorneys to rediscover a sense of purpose and passion for their profession beyond the billable hour.

More importanly, I hope to learn from you about your own transitions and challenges in life right now - whether due to a layoff, working in a profession you feel alienated from, health challenges, or just feeling that you've been treated unfairly by an employer.

And oh, yes -- I hope that in the process, we can all create "MORE FUN" in our lives.  If you have any good blonde lawyer jokes, I'd love to hear them ...

Everyone has MS?

National MS Awareness Week (March 8-14) is nearly over, and I haven't really written about multiple sclerosis all week.  Perhaps this is because I made a vow three days ago that I would not complain about anything for the next seven days; it's hard to talk about MS without complaining. 

Many in the MS community refer to it the "MonSter" because the disease affects us all in such unpredictable ways.  I've never liked this nickname because it makes it sound like we have no control over the disease (and as a recovering attorney, I'm still a bit of a control freak).  I've tried coming up with my own somewhat more empowering names for MS:  "Managing Stress,"  "Making Success," "Masking Sorrow," or even "Mimicking Serendipity."  Yet no matter how much I try to reframe it, sometimes MS really does behave like a monster.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I'm not going to go into details because I'm still not complaining this week, but you may have noticed that I did not post anything yesterday.  I bring this up because although one of my primary purposes in writing this blog is to find ways to "have more fun" in my post-lawyer life, sometimes the reality is that I simply do not have the energy -- even for fun.

This reminds me of a comment my plastic surgeon made to me once.  (Yes, when you move to Orange County the first thing they do is assign you to a plastic surgeon!)  My surgeon had just asked me how I was doing with MS, and before waiting for the answer he injected, "You know, I think everyone has MS."

A lot of people with MS would likely be offended by his statement, because let's face it -- if you are still in the pre-wheelchair relapsing/remitting stage (as most MS sufferers are), the disease is often invisible to those who do not know us well.  That doesn't mean it's not there, or that it's not a huge challenge to live with at times.  (A great website on the topic of invisible health challenges is www.ButYouDontLookSick.com.)

Yet in another sense, I think my surgeon was absolutely right: we ALL face invisible challenges every day, and we all deserve the benefit of the doubt when our actions are displeasing to others. 

Easier said than done.  I'm still struggling with my promise to stop complaining.  Yet in addition, I think that one way to create more fun in life would be to consistently treat everyone with more compassion. For those of you who want to join me, let's do this in honor of National MS Awareness Week.  

But just remember ... EVERYONE HAS MS.